Gotta love the family stories!
I’ve interviewed CEOs, community activists, a future U.S. Supreme Court justice, and lots of individuals who were skeptical of media members. It’s an art and a science to prepare for such sessions with individuals who are new acquaintances willing to share parts of their life stories to public audiences.
Yet, no academic and OJT prepared me for asking personal questions of relatives to learn more about our family.
“How did you and grandpa meet?” “What was it like to grow up in the Delta of Arkansas and witness the bloody riots in the early 1900s?” “Who are you named for?” “Did you really beat up a woman who knew your husband?” “Why didn’t you ever learn to drive?” “How did you celebrate Christmas when you were a child?”
Those are just a small sample of questions that I posed to my various family members. Their answers helped to connect the dots for me as I sought to uncover my family’s history. Like other African American families, our stories are mostly spotty and tough to easily put together. That’s why getting as much information from your relatives is imperative to completing your legacy findings.
The art of the interviews
The holidays and other special days are great times to listen to the conversations among family members. That’s the first tip: listen to what is being said and not said among your family member.
Next, build upon the unanswered questions and ask questions. You may not get the answers you are seeking, yet you will get information, great stories, and usually surprises. Be as prepared as you able to be to receive unexpected surprise information. It helps if you can capture an audio recording. Some relatives, especially the older ones, are not as adverse to taped recordings as I once believed. They are actually the best ones to interview about family stories. Remember that great interviews are complimented by photographs. Take a lot of pictures that feature faces.
Remember to be patient and expect to complete interviews over a span of time. It could be two days or even two years to gather the information you are seeking from family members.
Pro tips
- Prepare Thoughtful Questions
Try to avoid the obvious awkward questions for starters. Prepare open-ended questions to encourage storytelling. Ask about childhood memories, family traditions, and historical events they witnessed. - Find a Comfortable Setting
Family stories often flow best in a relaxed environment. - You have to be a Great, Active Listener
While you may have specific topics you want to cover, allow the conversation to naturally flow. Try to avoid interrupting unless necessary. - How to Handle Sensitive Topics
Be mindful of how difficult, even painful that family experiences could be for your loved one. Acknowledge their feelings, respect their boundaries, and take a break.
Preserving cultural and emotional history
No matter what happens as you gather family stories, remember that you are recording precious history that perhaps no one will gather. You are preserving and documenting these stories, and thereby help your future generations.
Contact me before or after you interview your relatives. Between my lived experiences and pro tips, I am here to help @weadwriteawayandgenealogy@gmail.com.
